Ya ever find yourself wishing for a bomb shelter and supplies and your cats and a year or so away from the world? Yeah, that’s where I am.

Everything is leaving me butthurt lately. I know it’s depression + fatigue making me emotionally unstable, which makes me depressed and more tired, and more emotionally unstable. Yaaaaay.

I HATE being in the office right now… the drive + people = TOO MUCH. But no work = no pay, so I gotta suck it up and put on a “nice face” for as many hours as possible.

With my boss offsite next week, I was going to take the week off. But then my interviews got scheduled for Th/Fr, so that blew my plan. I might take the following week – though there’s a possible issue with that idea too. Maybe the last week of the month… start the perm job in Nov.

I found some deliveries on my porch this morning… should have opened them as I could use the “surprise”. I think one is my silly order – something for me and Miao and whoever I decide for #3. I have no idea what the other box contained. It was from Amazon and kinda heavy. I know cat treats were supposed to be delivered today but it seemed too heavy for that. I’m still waiting for Waldo2.0 (another roomba); and a shirt I ordered for an IRL friend.

I have GOT to do something about my weight. It’s holding steady after last year’s increase but my body is clearly reshaping. Today I put on an outfit that has always flattered me and, instead, it was all LOOK AT MY BIG FAT BELLY. But talk is cheap and all I ever to is talk. I’ve got to look into getting a different pain management med, something that won’t make me so tired (I know, from prior experience, that the Cymbalta is a major reason I’m so fatigued right now). But that takes doc appts, which take energy, which I don’t have.

It’s sad that I don’t even call for MeowMeow anymore. I hope she’s alive and happy.

Beba makes me really happy. She has a super loud purr, a cute little “mew”, and loves to cuddle & play. PCB can make the exact same “mew” sound and is great at confusing me. Boo has settled down a bit. Adam is afraid of Beba (he’s afraid of all other cats… despite be 3x their size). Espressa is being extremely tolerant. I think Skritches is having the worst time of it – Beba follows her around a lot, which freaks her out, so she’s taken to hiding most of the day. I think once we get to the point of being able to leave the back door open again (next spring?), so the cats can come/go at will, it will be easier for everyone.

I need a nap. A year long nap.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

i feel barfy

I had a protein bar for breakfast and it did not sit well. Followed that up with a blood donation. Nearly didn’t pass blood pressure [shouldn’t have had that energy drink on the way to work] or iron [always been naturally low; i stopped taking pills because they gave me baby poo]. Followed that with lunch. A normal person probably feels barfy and doesn’t eat. I feel barfy and try to stuff it under more food.

Lots of trouble sleeping again Sat & Sun nights.Lots of nightmares again. But while I was awake Beba slept on me, fully slept (not just a 2 min cat nap) for the first time. While some of the sleep issues are from Boo’s whining,I think the main issue is that my body wants to be back on vampire time. Even with xanax, it was after 4am when I finally got to sleep last night.. I mean this morning.

Temps dropped dramatically on Sun… I went from running the car a/c on Sat to turning off all the house fans, finally closing the bedroom door, adding a blanket to the bed, and ‘sleeping’ with socks on. I really want to stay and snuggle with kitties today but no such luck.

Adam & PCB decided to stay outside this morning. There were predictions for “more” rain (we only got 30 min, in the middle of the night, in LB) but it was beautiful outside. Then I got on the freeway and could see south and the sky was all dark clouds. Oh well, they were both strays before I took them in so I’m sure they know how to find hideaways – and there’s still access to under the house (no raccoons this summer!).

Boo slept for most of last night, and all morning (no 4am demand to go out) – then didn’t want snackies. So I guess she’s not feeling well.

Beba weighed in at 3.7lbs (just called the vet because I forgot to ask on Sat). She has her 2nd round of shots on the 24th. Then she’ll be spayed & microchipped around Nov/Dec. Really wish I had her chipped on Sat as that’s the same day she started bolting out the back door. I’m fairly certain that so long as I see her run out, I’ll be able to catch her. But I worry that she’ll get out without me noticing, then have hours to wander. That would be bad. I have a kitten harness & leash so I should probably try taking her out in that (it’s how I trained Mocha, who was equally adventurous, to know where his home was).

I got the cats a fancy food dish from Archie McPhee… it looks like a giant can of tuna. For some reason, they won’t eat out of it.

Did you hear that there will be a Million McFly March for “Back to the Future Day” (Oct 21, 2015)? I’d love to participate but it’s a Wednesday.

back to work.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Focus on positive

30 min late to vet but they took us anyway. (I called ahead)

Boo has gained .6 lbs, implying her radioactive treatment worked.

Beba is estimated at 14~15 weeks (I guessed, based on nothing, 9 weeks. I really suck at this; vet said min 13 weeks because she’s half way between baby and adult teefs). Currently getting blood tests, then vaccines. I’ll take a day off to get her spayed and microchipped (wanted microchip today but they said it’s a big needle and they usually do kittens while they’re under anesthesia).

Oh.. yay… Beba’s blood tests are all negative!

The vet didn’t know Moshi had died (someone auto-sent a condolence card to me but they never told the primary vet). She agreed that the “hot on on side” thing was really weird (those last 2 weeks, he always laid with is right side down and it was crazy-hot when I picked him up). Her best guess is that it was blood clot or sudden heart probs (they’d noted very low heart murmur but ER vet noted it as very high.. but that was after the stroke/heart attack he had just before he died). Very likely that my “looking back” diagnosis was correct – he was having heart failure or mini-strokes for days/weeks before the major event. Despite what the ER vet said, it’s also very possible the FIV+ diagnosis was a false positive. But, given his immunity issues, it’s also entirely possible that he’d been FIV+ for a long time. Brain issues (evil raccoon feces worm) are also possible. There’s just no way to know. Talking about it make me cry again, a lot. But it felt good because I don’t feel I grieved enough (yet). She (the vet) was really great saying “you give all your pets the best life possible; given the temperaments of some of them, they’re extremely lucky to find you!” I know that is true but it still hurts to have lost my “son” and have MeowMeow go MIA in the span of a week+.

This is my new vet appt shirt (yes, that’s cat hair all over it):

A big positive of the day? I found out I can share my xanax with Boo (1/5 of my 0.5 mg pill… 0.01mg)… so maybe I can get the 24/7 whining under control. Or not.

And it’s pretty official – I’m probably going to keep Beba. No one on fb has shown interest and she’s having fun with PCB and..I’ve missed Moshi SO much this last week and… it’s just easier.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments


Went to AAA to get a 2 month car registration extension. $50..?!?  Then they tell me they can’t issue it without a failed smog test. So I race to the nearest smog check spot and that’s another $63 and an hour. Which will give me about 10 min to get back to AAA and get the cert. Then be late getting home to get the cats to the vet so I might need to reschedule that. And this day sucks.

If I can prove the car isn’t ready for smog why can’t I just get a quick ‘not ready for smog’ not and get on with this?!+!+#+#

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

LOVED this comedian – Graham Kay

he’s the one who did HYSTERICAL humor about cat vs dog people

doesn’t Laurie live in Toronto? (he does some Toronto humor in this clip)

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

What the total F?

  • Someone took the last donut. Left the empty box.
  • Coworker took the last bagel. Left the open container of cream cheese & mess and walked away.
  • Shared supply order should have been rec’d by coworker yesterday. I haven’t rec’d my stuff so I checked with Receiving. “We delivered that box to her yesterday.” When I got back, I glanced at her desk. No box visible. No indicate of receiving specified office supply. Would rather huff & puff than ask WTF.
  • Do GDP (Good Documentation Practices) review of people’s work. Return it with lots of postits for needed corrections. It comes back with only half the items corrected. And new issues!!
  • Overlords offsite since noon Tues for some Overlord activity. Seems to be completed and everyone took the afternoon off. But Ms. Bitchy StompyFeet came back to the office.
  • Stopped ignoring someone… by fwd’ing their email to my boss with “is this acceptable?” and letting her handle it.
  • I was pretty sure it was 4:30, and I was dyyyiinnnngggg. Looked at the clock… 1:48p. Currently 3:07. Dunno if I’ll make 8 hours today.
  • Really really really really want a cocktail
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The shirt

imagetotally appropriate today. someone is being a pest and because “idonwaaannnnnaaa!”, I closed down email rather than dealing with them.

Image | Posted on by | Leave a comment